Caught

I feel the sawing need to clear myself.  Seen with roommate with another friend.  Not invited. Checked if she was free. I think it's ok - I am not to blame. But I keep opening my email to send a explanation email.

She might have blushed because she doesn't like to bump into other people unexpectedly.  She might be hurt that I'm not taking initiative with her.  Need to tell her I enjoy the times we hang out.  She hears my most burdening and unfiltered thoughts.  Does she feel valued or a bother to schedule things with.

Sit with it.  Let it pass.  Or say something?

Lord, help me to deal with the piercing impressions people may have of me.  Correct or not.

Fear you and revere you.

If I do what is right concerning you, you will take care of everything else  - C

My reputation is not my salvation.

Morning BART

Ezekiel 26

Standing surrounded by people making their way to point B or C or E

Reading a prophecy against an ancient coastal land

Realizing it may not be too far from the coastal lands of modern day

If these city centers were shaken, others would look upon in fear.  I would be shaken.

Father I pray you would

Bless 

TBC- thank you for their light-heartedness when it comes to interacting with each other.  I truly appreciate how we can be silly and purposeful- over the weeks we've seen a different side of each other and now we were able to plan  something special for our friends.

Would you allow us to take new steps in our own faith, going beyond our comfort zone in the ways you call

H- new friends in new work place (keeping head down, pleasing managers)

A- wrestling with calling and finding work that positively impacts society/he can enjoy (sure thing, money, easy to find, coasting at current job)

L- spirit leading beyond bible study and getting to know Jesus personally; sharing the process with someone near (finding ways to learn on own, staying private, coping with things to iron out in friendships)

O- through suffering to count it pure joy, knowing that this is God's intended circumstance for his maturing in faith; count/consider everything good he desires as loss for the sake of knowing Christ (letting a negative lense color everything he sees)

I- forgive past hurts from people in Christian community; opening up to the ways God is working in a new way; sharing his thoughts (slowly excusing himself from community; seeking a new community)

Morning BART

Ezekiel 26

Standing surrounded by people making their way to point B or C or E

Reading a prophecy against an ancient coastal land

Realizing it may not be too far from the coastal lands of modern day

If these city centers were shaken, others would look upon in fear.  I would be shaken.

Father I pray you would

Bless 

TBC- thank you for their light-heartedness when it comes to interacting with each other.  I truly appreciate how we can be silly and purposeful- over the weeks we've seen a different side of each other and now we were able to plan  something special for our friends.

Would you allow us to take new steps in our own faith, going beyond our comfort zone in the ways you call

H- new friends in new work place (keeping head down, pleasing managers)

A- wrestling with calling and finding work that positively impacts society/he can enjoy (sure thing, money, easy to find, coasting at current job)

L- spirit leading beyond bible study and getting to know Jesus personally; sharing the process with someone near (finding ways to learn on own, staying private, coping with things to iron out in friendships)

O- through suffering to count it pure joy, knowing that this is God's intended circumstance for his maturing in faith; count/consider everything good he desires as loss for the sake of knowing Christ (letting a negative lense color everything he sees)

I- forgive past hurts from people in Christian community; opening up to the ways God is working in a new way; sharing his thoughts (slowly excusing himself from community; seeking a new community)

Acting as myself

"Act natural" 

The oxymoron that is "being normal."  Inherently it assumes what you'd do by reflex may not fit the mold. 

I'm trying to act as a friend when there's something more on my mind.

I'm trying to act as an assistant when I know I'm just glorified by title not by compensation

I'm trying to act as a Christian when I feel this chasm between how I want to be and how I am.

Excerpts from Victory Over the Darkness by Neil T. Anderson:

"No person can consistently live in a manner that is inconsistent with how he perceives himself." (pp. 50)

"A productive Christian behavior system is the byproduct of a solid Christian belief system, not the other way around." (pp. 53)

I believe

God made us to all be artists!

But some of us got fooled into believing that's a child's game rather than the trappings of true life!

To create

To express

To experience

To release

To encounter

To proclaim His excellencies!

To dance

To sing

To portray

To write

To live