What You Want

Sitting here thinking about my day, I wonder to myself: so what now.  After spending most of my day trying to "land myself a job" [as if, I secure my own future...megan...you know better...everything is by God's sovereign grace], I sit here with it.  IT.  The it that every college grad wants.  The it that seems ever elusive for college grads of today.  I have it?

What happens when you get what you want?

Well, if what you wanted is a good thing [something that leads to God; brings you closer to Him; brings you to worship Him] then you will give praise where praise is due [God].  Then you can be thankful and enjoy it with God and continue to seek God.

Then, what if what you wanted is a bad thing?  "A bad thing" meaning something that leads us away from depending on God, praising God, seeking God...even if that something makes our devotion within our worship (our relationship) with God minutely less.  Welll...then you have a decision to make.  Either you choose to receive what you wanted and live a life that runs the greaat risk of being a chain of compromising your relationship with God until you get to the point where God is not even part of the picture anymore  OR you choose to reject what you wanted for the sake of continuing to love God whole-heartedly.  I guess this is why Jesus says to His disciples that in order to follow Him we have to deny ourselves [surrender what we want] and take up the cross [be perfected through suffering like Christ].

Mark 8:34 If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.  Luke 14:27 

And ultimately, it is not the thing itself that is bad but what the action of accepting it or rejecting it means for you.  Are you drawing near to God or are you straying from Him?  Are you taking up your cross or are you betraying Jesus who died for you?  

I hope that if you have made it to this point in this post that you are not lost in the midst of all the it's and thing's.  This is all coming from a girl who is just sitting here thinking:  what if what you want is not what you want.