Hello, fickle friend.

I thought I wouldn't be here.
Here saying, "Help me to trust in You."
Things were supposed to be easier after this and that
but I'm done with this AND that
and the need to push through, press on, and persevere nags at my heart

I want it to be easy-I want to be lazy-I do not want struggle
I want to take up my cross-I want to labor for Your kingdom-I do not want this world
I want what You say I will not have if I follow You
I want what the rebellion in me says is not worth it

Take this, child, it will make you better.
Swallow the strife, stomach the trials, and rest your head here
as your body passes the dead and degenerate
let healing set in